Who do I call if I have no one to talk to?

What will I talk about if I have nothing to say?

Why do I really want to say something?

Do I have to?

Human connections are incredible. They can break you down and then build you back up again like nothing ever happened. They can disappoint you and they can be the greatest achievement or yours. They can be interested or pure-hearted. But why do we really feel the need to connect?

The human, as far as I’m concerned, is a social animal, but I don’t consider myself inhumane if I don speak to anybody. I like to stay by myself and rest my thoughts. Rest my mind. Rest my heart.

I can’t close my eyes when someone needs my help, but I can’t give my heart and my mind away either. I consume myself whenever I see someone’s not ok, but I cry, and cry, and cry again when I just can’t seem to put my life together because I donate my time to people who won’t let me be ok. People who are not ok with me being ok. People who keep trying to make me feel bad for helping them. People who ask for advice and then forget I answered.

Why do I still need human connections if humans are bad? If they won’t let me live like I need to…

I need to start to say no. I need to learn to say no.

Roses are red,

Chocolate is brown,

I expect nothing

And I’m still let down..